Oh, So That’s What You Call Love

So many people are claiming that they are looking for “the one” – that one and great love. When digging down past the addicting romantic fairytale narrative what most claim to be looking for can be found in the people, they already have in their lives. Is it possible that you already have the great love of your life housed in the impressive tribe of friends and family you know? Before getting swept away in the allure of an impending Valentine’s day let’s clarify this love thing once and for all.

So often the idea of love becomes entangled with sexual attraction and desire, and those are critical components of long-lasting romantic relationships. However, singles are often tormented by the thought of all they’re missing while not in a relationship. Desperate to be in love they hold back eye-rolls when friends gush over that oh-so-cute thing that bae does. Well let me help you get out of those, nobody loves me blues.

1. Love is the connection of one soul to another. That closeness of the heart creates a safe place where you can rest and be at peace without fear of pain. No words are necessary to convey your current emotional state and jokes are pared down to a few phrases where the familiarity of your hearts fills in the blanks until you cry with laughter. That connection that ties your heart to someone else is one that can be completed in relationships that don’t fit the romantic paradigm, just saying!

2. Love is altruistic. Self-denying and sacrifice are at the core of real love. Giving completely and totally past the point of comfort or convenience, love falls over itself to meet the needs of another. There are no expectations merely the hope that the one you love is fulfilled, happy, and in bliss.

3. Love is complete and total acceptance. The messy, flawed, not-so-nice, grumpy in the morning, hangry at 2:00 pm parts of you that no one in their right mind would tolerate is celebrated by the ones you love and who love you. It is only the place of complete acceptance that your heart expands enough to default to gratitude and joy. Once tasted, the sweetness of this rare and beautiful gift will always call out to you.

4. Love is courageous and allows for no hesitation from fear. When you are well and wholly loved you find yourself brave enough to face criticism from your doubters and willing to face the hurdles that stand between you and your dreams. Love stands up for you when your back is against the wall and creates in you the desire to reciprocate in kind.

5. Love, real love means trust. The truth about trust is that it is one of the only intangibles that once accessed will reverberate into every area of your life, setting you free from self-doubt, anxiety, fear, and self-recrimination. When you are loved not only do you trust the ones you love, but you trust yourself to give love and be worthy of said love in return.

When looking at this list as incomplete as it may be it is easy to see that there are people in your life, at this very moment who are loving you with the love you have dreamed of. Though they are not presented to you in the package you may have wanted, I would hate for you to stew in your perceived sense of love-lack a day longer. You are loved and the more you know that the more love you will attract. So, until you have Mr. or Mrs. love-of-your-life cuddled next to you watching Criminal Minds on Netflix embrace the love you do have.

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